Three months - Breaking the Silence.

It’s been three months, everything seems fine. It’s been three months, my cellphones seems not so active from any messages (well except for the GM’s). It’s been three months, since I pamper myself to any social networks that worth to post my statuses.  It’s been three months, were you decided to end the “US”. It’s exactly three months, today, when we end the relationship that we had. We broke up.

I’d been so silent. I am scared to talk about the broke up issue. My hordes of amigos always ask me if I am Okay, if I am like this and like that, and I am so so sick of it. I never let them see my face not smiling but still, still, sometimes pretending is not good enough. I am aware that I need to let things out though it is kinda hard and there is no easy way to let this pass.

I think I should let you know what I really feel. I never felt this way before, so broken, worn-out, tattered, and unfortunately in Tumlbrs perspective, FOREVER ALONE. This is not supposed to be the ending that we talked about before. I am wrong. WE were so wrong. IKR, we were like in “-teens” of age and we had so much fun and plans. “Always” and even “Forever” right? I just want you to ask that night WHY? Why gave up so easily now where in the right age. Were mature people, responsible enough to do take care of each other, on our own mess. We had been so much of trials and issues; we sued as creating bad image in our dormitory and fortunately we surpassed that problem. I gave so much damn time to be with you. Yes I do, I do always want to be with you. Stay beside you, holding your soft pair of hand, your beautiful eyes that always leave me breathless when you stare at me, your smiles that always made my day. I miss you. I do really miss you. And when I say I miss you, you know I’m talking about. I MISS YOU A LOT.


I have so much want to say for you but I’d rather to tell it no more. After all there is no sense for that, before I forget I just want you to know that after three months I AM OK NOW. I AM FINE NOW. I am happy with my friends now. They are really something, something worthy to keep. I can’t deny that our relationship caused me a lot and YES! You really are something to me too. Thank you for helping me realize that here, here in this world that is full of shit, there is really someone out there for me. One last time let me say it to you. I LOVED You.

Ismayl.

ISMAYL.

Kahit na sapalagay mo mag-isa ka.
Kahit pakiramdam mo wala kang kasama.
Kahit na sa darating na araw ng mga puso ay single ka.
Kasi akala mo walang nagmamahal sau.



ISMAYL.

Kahit na huli na ang lahat.
Kahit ang mahal mo ay may bago na.
Kahit na pinipigilan ka pa niya.
Kasi akala mo hindi ka na niya mahal.


ISMAYL.

Kahit na pinagalitan ka ng adviser mo.
Kahit na kulang pa mga outputs mo.
Kahit pagod ka na sa lahat ng sumbat nya.
Kasi akala mo hindi naaapreciate ang gawa mo.


ISMAYL.

Kahit na binabalewala ka.
Kahit tingin nila sayo childish ka.
Kahit paratang nila sayo iba-iba.
Kasi akala mo hinihila ka nila pababa.



Huwag mo kalimutang masaya ang buhay.
Kahit na hindi ka na binibigyan ng mundo ng rason para maging masaya.
Pinipili lang natin maging malungkot.
Huwag kang gagaya sakin. Masakit yun. Sige ka.
Kaya kung ako sayo. ISMAYL.